Well,i'll be.making this blog is a chore.and here is my first post.Oh,and btw,plz be informed that these are my opinion.
Enjoy! :)
THE TOP 7...ANNOYING NAGS THAT NEED TO STFU
The champion ear-benders that should stop talking
We need to be told what to do in a game from time to time. We rely on helpful characters to issue us with objectives and point us in the right direction. Imagine the wasted hours if they weren't there to help. Trouble is, some of them go about it all wrong and - although they're trying to help - just get right on my tits. Honestly,Navi's a joy compared with these nagging characters that need to STFU.
7. KENDRA DANIELS from Dead Space
Right from the get go of this deep space disaster it's pretty obvious that Kendra and her 'I know best attitude' is going to be an intolerable pain in the ass. She's confrontational, insubordinate and the 'computer specialist', which universally translates to 'annoying twat'.
As soon as things begin to get messy aboard the USG Ishimura, Kendra courageously secures herself away from the rampaging alien horror show. What a trooper. Conveniently for her, but unfortunate for us, her hiding place is well furnished with computer and communications equipment. She spends the rest of the adventure ordering hero Isaac Clarke about like a minimum-wage lackey.
Relentless and uncompromising with her demands, she gives not a solitary shit that Isaac is the one wrestling aliens with razor-sharp extremities while also doing all the hard graft. As if the Necromorphs weren't dangerous enough for Isaac, he also risks death by nagging as well. Isaac might not be much of a talker, but I know what he's thinking when Kendra's on the holographic blower...
6.THE ADVISOR from Theme Park
The Advisor has always been a resident of the Theme Park games. He's appeared in various guises, but it's the jolly Willy Wonka type in a top hat we remember the most. As his name suggests, his role has always been to advise the player - that is, to give advice on how a theme park can best be improved to maximise financial gain and visitor satisfaction.And,to think I played the game with my cousin last time.
Maybe my cousin and I just being ungrateful, but we don't want his advice. We don't want him sticking his oar in and popping up with his condescending brand of 'hints and tips' every time we do something wrong. The Advisor needs to piss right off out of our business. We'll run things exactly how we want. Did it ever occur to the Advisor that we crafted our theme park with the intention of it being a hub of misery and human suffering and full of floaty sad faces?
Sure the admission fee is extortionate, there are no signposts, the toilets are cubicles of concentrated bowel filth and the rollercoaster makes people vomit, but it just so happens that that's exactly how we want it Mr Advisor Man
5. EDO MACALISTER from Flower,Sun and Rain
As I've come to expect from any Suda 51 game, this shit is both weird and good in equal measure. The entire game is full of nags ready to bend the ear of main man, Sumio Mundo. Every character Mundo meets is a thinly disguised objective dispenser, happy to dish out pointless tasks that involve lots and lots of walking about. But the king nag is Edo Macalister, the manager of the Flower, Sun and Rain hotel. He redefines 'customer service' as 'bugging your ass'.
At the start of every day - which is actually replaying over and over Groundhog style - things begin with Mundo being woken with a phone call from Edo Macalister. He says something like "Get to the front desk," or "Head to the airport." It all sounds achievable enough. Unfortunately, the hotel's other staff and guests do everything they can to hijack and derail every objective with their own demands for your time. Then the day ends and it all begins again with another call from Edo Macalister. He never relents.
Edo Macalister is by far the most likeable nag on this list, simply because he's deliberately designed to be a fun-poking piss-take of all those characters that have hounded us with asinine objectives in countless other games. So it's only right that I should want him to STFU. Only this time it's with a cherry on the top.
4. MICHELLE from Grand Theft Auto IV
No sooner has Niko been introduced to Michelle and she starts behaving like a sociopathic stalker. She's on the phone all the bloody time. Do I want to go on a date? No not really, but I will until Niko gets to have pretend sex with you. And if she's not calling to request a cheeky little liaison, she's phoning to pry in Niko's affairs.
And Michelle doesn't restrict her nagging to the phone. Pick her up for a date and she's straight on Niko's case. She's either giving it the big one about his poor taste in clothes, or she's endlessly ragging him trying to - not-so - discretely extract information regarding his cousin's criminal activities. Basically, a date with Michelle is like a date with the Spanish Inquisition
After entertaining Michelle for a couple of dates (until Niko had done the sexy with her), I did the honourable thing and put the kibosh on the 'relationship' by ignoring her calls. It came as no surprise when she was eventually revealed as a snake in the grass. What a bitch
3.ROSEMARY from Metal Gear Solid 2
Not only did I get the hero that no one wanted in this Metal Gear, but I also got his stupid whining girlfriend. Every time the Codec bleeps into life it seems that Rosemary's there, banging on and on about some inane dross that a man doesn't need to hear when he's running around an offshore facility killing men and hiding in lockers
And Rosemary *must* be having her period because she's not just a nag, she's an unpredictable, emotional car wreck of a nag. She gets a huff on because Raiden can't remember the day they met. She starts crying because Raiden's room is sparsely decorated. She's lonely. She's not happy with her sex life. She wants Raiden to take more care with his appearance. And she insists on telling Raiden all of this - and more - throughout the duration of the game.
Thanks to Rosemary's persistent and emotionally-wobbly bleating, the Codec messages are like sitting through a therapy session between two highly dislikeable people. One of whom is a nag that needs to put a bung in her stupid pie hole
2. OTIS from Dead Rising
He seems like such a sweet old dude. The helpful janitor. But, like most old people, he's a nag, a busy body and he gets right on your tits very, very quickly. "Have a transceiver" he says to Frank West when they first meet in the zombie overrun mall. It seems like the perfect team - Otis looking for survivors on the security monitors and Frank rescuing them. But the relationship curdles after, say, the second or third time that Otis buzzes the transceiver while Frank is up to his ear holes in hungry flesh eaters.
When speaking to Otis on the accursed transceiver, Frank is an easy meal for the dead people. He can't use weapons, so all he can do is run. Or he can cut the call from Otis short and get back to the business of making sure he's not eaten to death. But Otis doesn't like being cut off and he calls back two seconds later to have a moan. "Don't hang up on me. It's rude." What an idiot.
In the space of three days in the mall, Otis calls Frank around 40 times. And to think I get pissed when my mum calls us up more than twice a week.
1. THE DIRECTOR from Stuntman:Ignition
This is a game that you can only get good at by playing over and over and over. And - as if the frustrating nature of the actual game isn't enough to put gristle up your chuffer - the Director's constant nagging will definitely push any man to breaking point. Instructions. Orders. Commands. It's fine for the first couple of goes. It's almost useful. But when you know what you have to do, but just can't do it, his incessant bossing quickly leads to extreme enragement.
U-Turn. Drift left. Drift right. Pass close to the cars. Through the gap. Scrape the vehicle. Hard left. Hard right. Smash the shack. Jump and hit the railing. Hit the boxes. Hit the ramp. Jump through the gap. Hit the action button. Follow the lead vehicle. Pass close to the explosion. Overtake left. Overtake right. Pop a wheelie. Break through the gate. Hit the jump. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. It's like actual mental torture.
And when you inevitably fail miserably by driving into a river, the Director offers some smarmy, condescending comment like "Where are you going?" Seriously, if he was an actual real person I'd definitely take him down to China Town. What a loud-mouthed cock rod.
